My wife went with her family to the lake. I needed the break from her, so I spent 5 days here alone in our house. I struggle with the decisions I have to make, but quite honestly - I don't see I have any decision other than to end this before she hurts one of our kids.
I no longer trust anything she says - and I can only believe she wants a divorce despite her protests. Before she left I said to her, "you know... not so long ago I worried about ending up alone... never finding another person to share my life with. I don't worry about that anymore. There is bound to be someone, somewhere who will love me for me. There's bound to be someone, somewhere who wants a husband who brings flowers and does the laundry. Someone, somewhere might want a husband who will brush your hair or hold it for you when you're sick. Somewhere, someone will want me.. even if I did get hit by every branch when I fell out of the ugly tree."
I have to work out logistics. I have two kids and no daycare. My folks aren't living here full time yet. I work from 8 until 6 every night... and I'm paying on $93,000 medical bills. I've got a great job, but supporting a family of four on my salary alone, a new home, and the 93K in medial bills has my budget pretty locked up. I feel trapped by logistics - but with summer here, I'm going to ask my Mom if she will babysit all day 5 days a week until I can work something else out.
Once I have that in place, I can ask her to leave. There is a part of me that feels like I should allow her to make one final mistake so there is no possibility of rationalizing it. I expect that will take a couple of weeks at most.
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